Taking Weekend Tennis Seriously

A common complaint in weekend adult team tennis is being paired up with a partner whom you’ve never played with before. I, personally, think that is a silly complaint because if both of you would just play well (heck, even if only one of y’all would play well), it probably wouldn’t be a problem. If you and your new partner played fundamentally sound doubles and high percentage tennis, you would probably still win the match despite not being Facebook friends.

But that in itself is a silly argument to make because “playing well” and “weekend adult tennis” are generally mutually exclusive concepts.

And if there wasn’t complaining in weekend adult tennis, why would we even play?

So teams/captains will try to pair up players during practices before match days in order to appease their own slightly unsettled minds but more importantly to tame the even more volatile minds of the head cases they’re forced to put in their lineups. Of all the complaints made about the captain after a loss either to her face and/or behind her back (a reminder: all teams are dysfunctional; there is always one player not happy about something), she’s hoping to nip this one in the bud.

Unless, of course, you played with this particular person only once before match day. Unbelievable! Inexcusable! Ridiculous captaining! GAH.

All joking aside, I understand this psychological need to have played with your partner once/a few times before a real match. You know how dogs sniff each other’s butts as a way to feel each other out? It’s just like that.

What you’re sniffing each other out for is the answer to one simple question: Is she a good player? Because if she’s not, then I absolutely cannot play with her. We’re just not compatiable! This simply will not work.

It’s just like this.

Haha, still joking.

Not really.

No, seriously what you’re looking for is: what crazy shenanigans does she do that I need to be mentally and physically prepared for?

How much effort am I going to have to put into this match? Does she got this? Or, do I need to play out of my mind for us to win?

Does she indeed understand the fundamentals of doubles? Does she play high percentage tennis?

Does she* just love hitting down the line in the general vicinity of that formidable person who’s right in front of her? I mean, I know I should be watching the net player, but…urgh. Do you understand how much effort it takes to focus on someone, studying that person’s every tick and shadowing her in order to be ready for when she smacks a ball at you, and then to quickly shift your attention to the other opponent if your partner actually hits a smart shot? Doubles would be so much easier if you only had to focus on just one of the two players all the time…which could be somewhat accomplished if you weren’t fearful of your partner’s ridiculousness!

*Yes, I’m talking about myself. Yes, I’m the one who’s in love with my down the line shot. So, uh, yeah, you need to be ready for when the ball comes rifling back at you. Partner.

How mobile is she? How much running will I be doing today? How much water do I need to drink before our match?

Does she have trouble with her groundstrokes? Will I need to stay back so she isn’t running around on the baseline like a chicken with her head cut off?

How does she communicate? Does she tell you the ball is yours? Does she need you to tell her if the ball is hers? Will she oh-so-helpfully scream, “OUT. DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT BALL BEFORE IT LANDS”?

Does she high-five? Fist bump? Ooh, maybe she racquet touches after points!

Does this person have a habit of jumping into the middle and trying to hit every ball that looks all big and juicy-like? Does she then miss on more than half of these attempts because she can’t actually reach them – bless her – so you still need to be prepared to hit the ball as she sheepishly ducks down and scurries back to her side of the court?

Or, maybe she thinks she needs to keep going onto your side of the court because her momentum took her there, you see, and after you hit the ball that she whiffed on, you’re the one who needs to…

You’re right. It would be nice to be able to brace myself for these things before playing with someone. She in turn would probably like to know about my constricting nature and conflicting views on doubles before playing with me.

Sigh. Sniff away.

~ Christy Vutam

Photo: Thanks to: NatalieMaynor in Flickr ©Creative Commons